One year ago.. It is you who asked me not to expect much first from the start, as when the year ends, I will get the reward to cover all of it.

But one year later. As i teared open the letter. There it was, staring back at me.
Nothing.. Nothing is staring back at me except disappointment. I took your word for it.. And now ? All I have is the feeling of stupidness.. Why did I agree for a lower start ? You asked me to see into long term.. now.. I receive nth ? Not even a month of appreciation ?

I was still telling Esther that you are generous.. she also believed that you would keep your word since your reason for the lower start is because the reward at the end is good.

Now I am thinking.. Am I Stupid to believe you ? Have you forgotten your words to me?
What am I now ? some ball that you kick around? Kicking me to places where you need me to be? I don't even noe where do i belong now..
You want things done? I learn.. I do it at my best.. u want me to help out some other ppl so that they can go on a holiday ? I also learn.. i also do it..
Cos in my heart, I have a very pure trust in you. Trust that when you said those words, you will keep it. I'm not asking for alot.. Just a acknowledge of my effort.. but maybe all that trust is just me being gullible, stupid and naive.

Now, it has dawn upon me if i should leave you.. Leave you for another.. But the only thing stopping me is, i dunno if I will receive as much as when i'm with u.. I can onli keep my eyes open and look for a better one.. This is just how i feel..

Like i've just been deceived by someone. Although maybe you have already forgotten the conversation we had in ur room, when i was still indecisive.. when i was still considering when i saw the offer..

Well.. Now i'm still staring at that letter.. When I was abt to open it, my heart skipped a beat.. uncertain what to expect.. But when I opened it.. it all came clear.. This was it.. Maybe there will be changes in the next 2 days.. I dunno..
hopefully.. Sigh.. Hopefully..