Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I. Hate. Cockroaches.

Had a random meet up with Quek, Jen and Qi this monday. Actually I wanted to go gym. BUT i realised that my keys to the gym locker is in my another bag in Jarel's house. Ughhh..

So I decided to make full use of my time to catch up with a few of them. We had RamenTen?(forgot the name of the place). Jen treated us. How sweet is she? THANKS JEN. hahaha...

After dinner we went to walk around FEP (Far East Plaza), for them to buy their stuff. Hai.. Shopping days.. I miss them, but have to save for bloody school fees.. Seemed to be always something that is stopping me from spending money. So anyway, we decided that the night is still young, so we went Indochine outside Wisma for a short drink.

Then, it happened.

Cockroaches - I wish them DEATH, I tell you, DEATH!!!

I was enjoying my pint of cold beer, chatting n laughing. And I felt something ticklish crawling on my back. I turned around, and tried to see what is it. AS I TURNED MY HEAD AROUND, that thing, THAT THING, immediately crawled down and ran back behind the sofa. Bad enough, I caught a glimpse of its brown shiny ass to let me know that it is...... a cockroach.

At that point of time, I wanted to scream, for I feel so so SO disgusted that it was ON me!! Wah lao way.. I tell you.. DEATH TO ALL COCKROACHES!!

After that, I was sitting very uncomfortably, constantly checking my back to ensure it is not back to haunt me. Check check check, den you know what? Its not behind me, IT IS IN FRONT OF ME!! BESIDE QUEK!! I WAS LIKE!! WTF WTF!!!

Quek did a 'AHHHHHHH!!' and we immediately stood up and prepare to leave. It was less den 10 inches away from her. Now to think about it, thank God it did not get onto her hair. We left the place and head home cos it was getting a little late.
Hai... So on the way back alone, the long walk back home, it seemed like all cockroach has its eyes on me.. I swear I saw at least 3 more that night, lurking in corners, in front of me, scaring me with every turn.

And den, when I thought all is safe. There's one in the lift. -______-.

There's this two other girls who SAW the cockroach in the lift. One even pointed to it, the other one just went "Eeyo.." But still go in. I seriously do not understand why they are willing to go in. So, I concluded that they are not afraid.

But the funny scene is when the lift door close.......
They started screaming and jumping like mad women!! They continued to scream and jump as the lift went up. And, seeing them go up like that, the only expression on my face is -_- Like, you are afraid of cockroaches, then why the hell you go in the lift when you see one there?!!
Do. not. understand.

Anyway, I took the other lift, scanned the whole lift up and down, make sure its safe before I head in. When I reached home, I can't tell you how relieved I was. I was like "ahhh.... Finally.. "
It was like a mini adventure.

After that night, I've been having nightmare about cockroaches. I tell you.. It is not a dream to hav. I remember when I was younger, I had this dream that there were 3 cockroaches blocking my way at the stairs, so I picked up my courage and tried scare them away by stomping my foot on the ground. It was a wrong move.
The 3 cockroaches somehow merged into 1 and became a GIANT MASSIVE COCKROACH! Like 2 times my height. (You know? Like power rangers? Like how the zords merged to become MEGAZORD? Ya.. its like that.. ) It just became DAMN BIG! I spent the rest of the dream running away from THAT cockroach. It was Cry, Scream and Run. Tiring dream. And no one was there to save me.. T_T

Now, THIS TIME. I dreamt of that bloody cockroach from Indochine. Let's call it the IndoRoach.
I dreamt that it somehow managed to climb in my bag and followed me home. And when I opened my bag in the dream, I saw it there. I just immediately closed the bag. I dunno, maybe I was trying to suffocate it and hope it'll die the next day.
BUT the 'next day' in the dream. I forgot.. Yes.. I forgot the cockroach was still in the bag.
I just took out the Lays potato chips from my bag and started eating it in my office.
After eating like the last few, I SAW THE INDOROACH IN THE POTATO CHIP BAG!! SLEEPING!! I Screamed and immediately sealed bag up and threw it in my office pantry bin.
Hai.. that was the last dream. I'm very regretful why didn't I kill it before I dump it in the bin.

Ughhh.. Even now, I can still feel the ticklish feeling at my back.. Arghh..
How do you all deal with Cockroaches? Is it possible to kill them swiftly and cleanly?

AND, As if to mock me, I read on OMGFacts today, where they talked about Cockroaches.
Do you know cockroaches are capable of living 30 days without their heads?! HOW AMAZINGLY DISGUSTING IS THAT!!
You may think you have killed them by chopping off their heads, but they'll go "HA HA HA!! I'm not dead YET! I CAN STILL SURVIVE WITHOUT A HEAD AND RUN DISGUSTINGLY AROUND IN YOUR ROOM FOR ANOTHER 30 DAYS!! WOoo!!"

Hai. Like Mohinder from 'Heroes' said,
"Man is a narcissistic species by nature. We have colonized the four corners of our tiny planet. But we are not the pinnacle of so-called evolution. That honor belongs to the lowly cockroach. Capable of living for months without food. Remaining alive headless for weeks at a time. Resistant to radiation. If God has indeed created Himself in His own image, then I submit to you that God is a cockroach. They say that man uses only a tenth of his brain power. Another percent, and we might actually be worthy of God's image... "


But one thought. Since Cockroaches are SO amazing, why aren't they shown like some superhero character? Like 'Cockroachman', or 'Master Cockroach'.
Why is there Spiderman, the ninja turtle's Rat master, Cicakman but just no cockroach?
Hmmm....

the world will turn CRAZY like me at.
3:41 PM

Monday, March 22, 2010

I was talking to Aining and Karen in the morning. Aining have been deprived from MSN for quite awhile due to unforeseen circumstances. Hahaha.. ANYWAY.. things ALWAYS lead to.. you know.. very suggestive topics... tsk tsk tsk... (Anyway in the below context, TOK refers to " 敲他一笔")

∂ïnïng says:
eh
how to explain
wads TOK

Thunder Pig VII™ says:
TOK
u dunno?

闪电小龟 ! says:
explain to her jocelyn
i am SADDENED

∂ïnïng says:
i told esther to
TOK him tighter

闪电小龟 ! says:
HAHAHAHHA!!
KNS!!

Thunder Pig VII™ says:
-_-

闪电小龟 ! says:
lolx
tighter
HAHAH!!

Thunder Pig VII™ says:
hahaahHAHHAHAHh

∂ïnïng says:
TOK TIGHTER

闪电小龟 ! says:
jocelyn u caught tt! lol

Thunder Pig VII™ says:
TOK TIGHTER

闪电小龟 ! says:
BLOG IT

∂ïnïng says:
.....
waddddd
eh
damn u

Thunder Pig VII™ says:
HAHAHHAHA

闪电小龟 ! says:
HAHAHAHA!!!
tok means 敲他一笔 u noe?
like tok his money?

∂ïnïng says:
nvm
i alrdy explain to esther
it means..... JUST WATCH HIM TIGHTER LA

Thunder Pig VII™ says:
y watch him tighter?
WHY TIGHTER?!

∂ïnïng says:
hahaha TIGHT is good

闪电小龟 ! says:
jocelyn BLOG BLOG!!
hahaha

Thunder Pig VII™ says:
OK! hahaha
this is going to the hall of fame

闪电小龟 ! says:
WOO!!


There! hahahahhaa... quoted from Aining, Tighter is better.. thou i dunno why she explains TOK as watch him tighter.. But still , HAHHAHHAHAH!!!

the world will turn CRAZY like me at.
11:09 AM

Friday, March 19, 2010

Snow white and the Ti Ko Prince

Once upon a time, as a queen sits sewing at her window, she pricks her finger on her needle and three drops of blood fall on the snow that had fallen on her ebony window frame. As she looks at the blood on the snow, she says to herself, "Oh, how I wish that I had a daughter that had skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony". Soon after that, the queen gives birth to a baby girl who has skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony.(oh great, they gave birth to an albino child, who the hell wishes for an albino child!)
They name her Princess Snow White. As soon as the child is born, the queen dies.

Soon after, the king takes a new wife, who is beautiful but also very vain. The Queen possesses a magical mirror that answers any question, to whom she often asks: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in the land is fairest of all?" to which the mirror always replies "You, my queen, are fairest of all." But when Snow White reaches the age of sixteen, she becomes as beautiful as the day, and when the queen asks her mirror, it responds: "Queen, you are full fair, 'tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you." Though in another version, the mirror simply replies: "Snow White is the fairest of them all." (Deng deng deng~~!!)

The queen becomes jealous, and orders a huntsman to take Snow White into the woods to be killed. She demands that the huntsman, as proof of killing Snow White, return with her heart. The huntsman takes Snow White into the forest, but after raising his knife to stab her, he finds himself unable to kill her. Instead, he lets her go, telling her to flee and hide from the Queen. He then brings the queen the heart of a young deer, which is prepared by the cook and eaten by the queen. (EeeeewWW!! The queen is actually is thinking of eating Snow White's HEART? SICK!Where the King find this Queen? In the mountain cave??? it seems that she just so obsessed that she'll eat any part of snow white. )

In the forest, Snow White discovers a tiny cottage belonging to seven dwarfs, where she rests. There, the dwarfs take pity on her, saying "If you will keep house for us, and cook, make beds, wash, sew, and knit, and keep everything clean and orderly, then you can stay with us, and you shall have everything that you want." (In short, "as long as you let us use you as a slave, you can stay here.")
They warn her to take care and let no one in when they are away delving in the mountains.

Meanwhile, the Queen asks her mirror once again "Who's the fairest of them all?", and is horrified to learn that Snow White is not only alive and well and living with the dwarfs, but is still the fairest of them all.

Three times the Queen disguises herself and visits the dwarfs' cottage while they are away during the day, trying to kill Snow White.
First, disguised as a peddler, the Queen offers colorful stay-laces and laces Snow White up so tight that she faints, causing the Queen to leave her for dead.(How unfortunate..)
However, Snow White is revived by the dwarfs when they loosen the laces. (oh, Heng ah)

Next, the Queen dresses as a different old woman and brushes Snow White's hair with a poisoned comb. (WTF, would you in your right mind, let some stranger from the woods brush your hair??) Snow White again collapses, but again is saved by the dwarfs. (Stupid lady, poor dwarfs.. they come home to a lying corpse so frequent cos of snow white's plain stupidity)

Finally, the Queen makes a poisoned apple, and in the disguise of a farmer's wife, offers it to Snow White. When she is hesitant to accept it, the Queen cuts the apple in half, eats the white part and gives the poisoned red part to Snow White. She eats the apple eagerly(WTF) and immediately falls into a deep stupor. (WAH! Nothing to say! THREE TIMES LEH! Kenna cheated THREE TIMES still never learn ANYTHING?!? )

When the dwarfs find her, they cannot revive her, and they place her in a glass coffin, assuming that she is dead. (In my opinion, I think the dwarfs give up on saving her already.. I guess they are thinking "wah laoooo... Kenna cheated AGAIN??? How many times are we coming home to a dead corpse?! Aiyah! don't save le la.. She so stupid.. save already tomorrow also the same..)

Time passes, and a prince traveling through the land sees Snow White.(Hmmm?? The body never rot ah?) He strides to her coffin. The prince is enchanted by her beauty and instantly falls in love with her. He begs the dwarfs to let him have the coffin. ( Huh?? IS THIS PRINCE SICK?!!? WHO THE HELL BUYS A COFFIN WITH A DEAD PERSON INSIDE JUST COS HE THINKS SHE IS BEAUTIFUL? What is he gonna do with the body? Wah.. TI KO PRINCE.. Dead girl he also just want.. Can't get the heart, get the body??? Ewwww.. )

The prince's servants carry the coffin away. While doing so, they stumble on some bushes and the movement causes the piece of poisoned apple to dislodge from Snow White's throat, awakening her. (Wow.. how convenient) The prince then declares his love for her and soon a wedding is planned.

The vain Queen, still believing that Snow White is dead, once again asks her mirror who is the fairest in the land, and yet again the mirror disappoints her by responding that "You, my queen, are fair; it is true. But the young queen is a thousand times fairer than you."(Hahahaa.. the queen must be damn pek chek.. spend so much time kill one, den the mirror STILL say she is not chio-est of all..)

Not knowing that this new queen was indeed her stepdaughter, she arrives at the wedding, and her heart fills with the deepest of dread when she realizes the truth.

As punishment for her wicked ways, a pair of heated iron shoes are brought forth with tongs and placed before the Queen. She is then forced to step into the iron shoes and dance until she falls down dead. (Ok.. this is.. a little gross and cruel don't you think? Think of the blisters on her feet.. The people who taught of this torture isn't better than the evil queen herself!)


Ok.. This famous fairytale is showing, how a person and be so gullible n dumb! PLUS, SHE IS NOT EVEN A BLONDE! And, princes at that era, probably is sick in the mind, cos the prince himself is willing to buy a 'beautiful' dead corpse back to his castle for God knows what reason.

There you have it.. Fairytales which we find so romantic and sweet when we were kids... Now? you'll just go "WHY!!!!!!!!!"

the world will turn CRAZY like me at.
4:00 PM